Here I go again... back to my homeland: Portugal. I'll be landing in Lisbon in three hours, less than that. I'm literally above the clouds... saying goodbye to London in a mixture of fear and adrenaline. I'll probably try to sleep. I don't mind flying but today I feel weird. My boyfriend doesn't fly since late nineties. Maybe his fear is getting contagious. Hope not! I still love aeroports and the feeling they give me: endless possibilities, a portion of land that belongs to nothing and to everything, everyone and everywhere at the same time... I love browsing books and creams and magazines while killing time waiting for my gate's number. I wonder where people go and why...
I fell asleep. I wanted to keep writing but I just couldn't.... I had some ideas while I was sleeping. Some ideas for stuff I'm writing. I like to sleep. Gives me ideas, I touch a subconscious level and I let them come to the surface.... I just hope they make sense. Some are just surreal.... others would expose me too much. I can always retouch them... a writing photoshop maybe.... to protect myself, my intimacy... my thoughts.... that's the only private life we can possibly have: thoughts, imagination... dreams.
Tommorow I'm shooting a couple of scenes for a soup opera there. I'll be sleeping at a friend's house and I'll probably go to Fnac. I love Fnac! I miss Fnac when I'm in London: music, films, books, electronic stuff and a little cafe, everything together. I love Lisbon. Woody Allen should come to Lisbon, he should make a movie here. If he doesn't, I will... :) hahaha...
I read a couple of articles on the Backstage. Acting articles... very insightful stuff about breathing and about working consistently as an actor. I tweeted them. I wish I'd be in America now... auditioning for Pilot Season. One day I'll get an 01 Visa... I'm building my Cv in Europe... getting credits.... improving my English.... Wish I'd get a small part on a British T.V show, a film... like Dorothy Parquer says in one of her tales: "Oh God... I ask so little..." :) I'm writing randomly.... my mind is not making much sense. Sometimes I get tired of making sense. Sometimes I'm full of contradictions. "Just be yourself" that's what they say... hahahahaha... who knows myself??? Life is a journey, an endless journey trying to connect to ourselves, to our "being". Could they say: "just be a little of yourself??" Could they teach us that??? "Just a little"... the part you know or you think you know... could we just accept and embrace comfortably confidentiality the rest of us that we have no idea about. Could we just embrace confidently that " We don't know! We don't know!" Could we just allow ourselves to improvise a little.
I am landing!!!
Good luck for all the actors auditioning for Pilot Season***
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