I should have more discipline to
write every day and to update the blog more often. The truth is that I always
feel better after writing. I feel more organized, my ideas become more clear
and objective, I develop my memory and my ability to relate and integrate all
my thoughts, actions, my dreams, fears, my routines, my plans and everything
that is happening in my life. There are small things we can do and that cost us
nothing for our own good and one of them is simply to write. I found a few days
ago blogs of actors who share their experiences. I admired the courage and
honesty with which they share their ups and downs and inside me, I felt
understood and encouraged to move on. I thought ... why not write a bit more
about my experience as an actress.
It will not be easy because it is
not like sharing the resolution of mathematical exercises, or the latest
fashion trends. Sharing my journey can be very difficult for the personal
dimension that it includes. There is the romantic part of the profession, the
one that everyone knows and that is sold in magazines. But there's also the
side of rejection, doubt, confusion, the meetings that inspire us but that do
not result in anything, friends who support our profession but who do not
understand, and those who say "I think you'll get it" or “ I think you
will not succeed”, as if I had to prove something to them.
I think this happens because, usually,
people just see the results: they buy a ticket to see a play or a film, they buy
the magazine or the newspapers and they see their favorite actors enjoying
their holidays somewhere, they read the interview about the last movie they´ve done and the
nominations for all the film festivals. But this is just a result. A result of
a hard process.
Sometimes, it´s difficult to
share this process, the small achievements that nobody can see and how much these
small results make me feel happy and make me succeed every single day in what I
love to do. But I can understand this intimacy
between the audience and the actor and their curiosity and expectation about
our lives. I don´t blame my friends who think I am crazy for taking such a
risky career, who think that maybe I am not going to make it. Maybe I am crazy
and maybe I am a dreamer and maybe I am not going to be famous, but I am
tremendously happy about my professional journey, about my decisions and I try
to be absolutely responsible with them. If I am not making a living as an actress,
I´ll have to work in something else. If I am frustrated with my job, my team
and my manager have nothing to do with that. I have to be grateful and, while I
am there, I just have to give my best and try to do things right. But even,
when I am tired at the end of the day, I never give up of my passion; I never
give up believing that it´s possible to make a living of what I love to do.
But we cannot just dream about it, we need to
prepare ourselves every day, reading a lot of plays, training our voice and body,
be warmed-up, especially a foreign actress like me, needs to improve and
perfect the second language every day. We really need to be proactive and full
of energy and this can be really hard, especially if you´re not working. But,
it´s completely forbidden to feel
afraid, sad, hopeless, stuck and unlucky. Sometimes, I see people doing
auditions and they seem that they don´t like to act, that they don´t want to be
there. They avoid the moment of performing the speeches, they don´t want to
share them, they afraid of forgetting the text, …it´s like, they´re are not
having fun, they´re not enjoying what they love to do because, at some point,
we can take it too seriously. We need to have discipline and be prepared but we
can´t forget to have fun with it.*
No comments
Post a Comment