Faith, projects and blogging

Yesterday I wrote something about having faith. By faith I mean "Believing in life, particularly in our journey as an actor". Everything is going to be Ok in the end, if what you are doing is honest and if you stop criticising the business itself and the injustices, the contradictions,the commercialism, the lobbies and blabla... I worked in other completely different areas apart from acting, my sister works in a completely different market and she faces the same problems too. Well, it's the way it is, the acting world is just more exposed than any other business, as long as you're trying to succeed in any profession, you'll always have people trying to stop you, you'll always have to challenge your confidence and face your fears. But you'll always have those who want to help you too and who are pure about it. Those who follow you and these are the ones we should care about. We cannot change the business, we can embrace it and change our attitude. We need to cultivate our lives too, friendships, hobbies, family attachments, we need to distract ourselves from acting otherwise we get crazy. It's a really absorbing career. We need to live more and act less maybe. If we do that it will be easier to truly live fully under any imaginary circumstances because this circumstances become less imaginary and more real thanks to our baggage and then, our acting might be better too! :)

Next week I'm flying back to Portugal thanks to my unpredictable and surprising career. I'll play a small part in a portuguese soap opera "Jardins Proibidos"! Surprisingly, I'm not going to speak my native language because the character is English! I bought a last minute ticket to Portugal to embrace this project  and I'll be back to London next Saturday. Yesterday, before going to bed I was thinking that I'd never imagined I would fly to Portugal next week again. The only thing we can do is to be ready, equipped with monologues, scripts, Cvs, showreels, business cards, portfolio, reading plays and films and doing scene work, improvising work, voice work. Especially if you're like me, a foreign actor. 

This morning I was studying my scenes and I was reading my webseries scenes too, the one I wrote.  I'm nervous about this project. I have total responsibility for the writing so I'm afraid people won't relate to it and to the stories. I want to communicate something and I'm afraid of failing in that communication. But again let's have faith:) It's good to be open about our fears and to write and share them. They become less important. Everyone is trying to be fearless and confident, reading self help books and "positive thinking" stuff but maybe for me this works better. It works for me to be honest about how vulnerable I am and how afraid I am too. I don't care! 

I'll keep sharing here. Although it's complicated to write everyday. Being a blogger is another profession. Plus I still have a portuguese blog too www.myanniehall.blogspot.com to exercise my portuguese writing and to communicate with family and friends. It's more random and generalist... Just stuff and thoughts of the daily life. Intimate thoughts, less intimate and more entertaining, like makeup and clothes, health and fitness.... not so much about acting and my profession and more about me outside of this crazy world and silly stuff maybe too:)

Let's keep in touch then.

Love lilly**