Everywhere you go, there you are!

“Everywhere you go, there you are!”

 I adore this quote! It's so simple and straight to the point. You know... I always wanted to move to Los Angeles even though I've never been there before. I think Los Angeles is a place where I would feel completely normal, surrounded by creatures like me, of my own species: actors, directors, creators!  But at the same time, there's something about London! I feel so grateful to this town, it's such a smart, creative, diverse, cool, stable place to be. As an actress, I grew up a lot here. I learned a lot and  I finally I feel that I belong here. I wish I had a chance to audition more in London... I am not auditioning as much as I wanted to I confess, I don't have an amazing, top acting agent (yet:)) to help me and most of the auditions I get is through castingcallpro or starnow and acting platforms. I envision Los Angeles and I feel I might get more chances there, maybe because I am latin/mediterranean and every time I watch American series, I see actors that look more or less like me, my accent is more American than English now, it's like I feel I have a category for me there. I like to create my own work here in London - the webseries Sessions - and I like the connection I still have with my country, Portugal, where I worked before and where I have my family. Being in Los Angeles would probably make me feel a bit isolated from the rest of the world. I know Los Angeles is a multicultural place though. But I feel like playing the game here in London, getting an agent that could potentially help me building a bridge to Los Angeles and to America in general. We always think, we'll get to Los Angeles, and things will start to pick up: auditions, commercials, short films, indie films.... but maybe it's going to be exactly the same experience I am living here in London. I would always have sun, that's true, and that would be a completely different experience:)  But running away from a place because the grass looks greener on the opposite side of the world, might be a misleading thought. I'll definitely travel to Los Angeles soon, maybe in September, I am not really expecting much. Just getting the feeling of the town, meeting some people, understanding the differences, taking some classes. When I moved to London 4 years ago, I was so full of confidence and so sure things were gonna be easier for me, but after two months of pure passion, of love at first sight with this town, I started facing the first disappointments. A relationship with a city or a place can be compared to any other love story. After a couple of months of love and passion you start feeling that maybe you're not made for each other, there's a lot of differences and either you try to solve those differences and you find a balance or you just break up and move on to another city. I wanted to break up with London many times. It was an on and off relationship for a while. But now, finally I feel completely "On"  in London and I feel like staying... I feel like calculating a move to Los Angeles but slowly and without that feeling....The feeling that things are gonna change there. I want to be OK everywhere. I don't want to make a move to run away from a problem. No! I want solve my problems and then eventually move. I want to move when I am OK. When I am not desperate, when I feel in control, when I have achieved something that will mean something once I arrive at my next destination, otherwise I'd be constantly starting everything out from the beginning. Honestly, I am tired of new beginnings... I feel like finding a continuum, creating a continuum. I don't know if I am being clear. 

And this all started because:"everywhere you go, there you are!"

Thank you for reading, 

Love

Lilly