Finding Characters, Finding Yourself And The Ghosts Within Us

          

       

     It’s so good when we finish a class with a sense of accomplishment. That’s how I've felt regarding our last rehearsal. Everyone is getting more and more concentrated; the directions are getting more precise, detailed, the movements very clear and we are feeling increasingly more comfortable with the lines and with our objectives in the scenes.   

             I was going to write “my character’s lines, her objective in the play and scene”, but I prefer to talk about me, my lines and my objective in the given circumstances, it makes the process easier for me, it makes me closer to the text and it reduces the pressure of having to transform myself to a point where I, Lilly, am not recognizable anymore, just the character. If I feel that pressure, I am going to force the process and become too conscious about it. I believe that building a character takes time, research and responsibility before we can have the audacity to talk in the name of that person, especially if it is a true story. 

             Sometimes many of the circumstances in a play are completely far away from our day to day life, but as actors, we have to imagine ourselves in that situation, being completely open, putting our whole body and soul into that and slowly, building a whole new universe...starting understanding and feeling life throug other perspectives, becoming so comfortable in our imagination that we can provide a truthful performance.

    Sometimes we feel miles away from that character and out of the blue, we start understanding even if we´re studying an assassin. We always think “I wouldn’t be able to do that”, but that’s not true. Human beings are not flat, they are complex and deep inside, all of us can do everything, it’s scary to admit it and, of course, many feelings and behaviors are less likable to happen than others, each person has predispositions to behave and feel more or less in a certain way, but I believe, our genetic code has all the humankind in it, its bright and dark side.

            Many people choose this profession because they are tired of themselves, of their predictable and boring life, they refuse the 9 – 5 jobs afraid of being trapped in a routine. As actors we can be romantic, strong, have the courage to say and do things that we would not be able to say or do in real life, we can be more dominant or submissive, we can and try to be everyone else but at the end we learn that there’s no way we can escape from ourselves, even if we are playing the other side of the coin of our personality.

           If I have a scene to prepare for tomorrow, an audition, how can I prepare a whole human being in 24 hours, how can I emerge myself into a completely different past, present, dreams and motivations with respect and dignity? At the end of the day we are not just there to play and have fun, we are talking about people, their feelings, conflicts, their lives. So, before we even think about a character, we should think of how to use ourselves in those circumstances, the transformation and the deeper discoveries will come after, to the point where probably people will be surprised to see something different off you! At the end of the scene, doesn't matter how much effort we've done to transform ourselves, how much we know about that character, the most important thing is if it feels believable or not when you’re using yourself truthfully in that imaginary world.