I'm extremely grateful to Peter Brook and Jamie Topp for letting me be part of this project and the whole team: Makeup: Adi Bar Yoseph, Sound: Sam Dudley and my my acting colleges Ross Mcnamara and Roseanne Lynch and Paul Cosmo.
The screening happened last Friday at Hackney PictureHouse and, although I couldn't be happier to be there, I had a hard time watching myself on the big screen. I could't stop criticising my performance, my voice, my intentions and, on my way back home I only had one thought in my mind "Maybe I should stop acting!" Honestly, I was so self-aware of my mistakes that I started feeling quite miserable. It's true that I'm a bit hard on myself, I'm a perfectionist and I'm not proud of it. I don't know if it really helps being like this. I don't know if I should let it go and follow what Johnnie Depp's states: “In a way, once my job is done on a film, it’s really none of my business. I stay as far away as I possibly can… I don’t like watching myself” or If I should face my performances objectively in order to change and improve them. Andrew Garfield also says "I don't want to be aware of what I'm doing. As soon as I am, I'm less open!" So... What can I do now? I suppose I'll never solve this equation of either I should watch myself or not and the results it might lead to (A better performance in the future or worse because you compromise your imagination an openness)! Well... No one plans to fail so as long as I do what I believe and put my whole soul in it, I think I should be Ok. Let's have faith!
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